SOME BAD ADVICE AT TAX TIME.(Perspective)

Byline: Dave Barry

Tax-return time is coming, and I have bad news and good news:

*The bad news is, tax-return time is coming.

*The good news is, I figured out how to get rich from it.

My plan is to set up Bad Taxpayer Advice Centers. The way these would work is, taxpayers would pay a fee, and our trained personnel would give them ludicrously incorrect information, such as that they can deduct the full cost of any item whose name contains two or more vowels. (EXAMPLES: "Boat" is deductible. So is "eel." But not "phlegm" or "cat.")

With this system, you would enjoy the confidence of KNOWING you were getting incorrect advice, as opposed to when you ask any of the so-called tax experts, who are frequently wrong, but not always, thus leaving you with an insecure feeling. Although you can't really blame the experts. Nobody …